A Journey of Enlightenment
by amandakai
Summary: Hermione embarks on a journey of self enlightenment and unintentionally gets caught up with a certain Slytherin in the process.
1. Breaking up is hard to do

Breaking up is hard to do…

Hermione remembered the day it all started. It was one year ago on a Friday afternoon and she was having lunch alone at a muggle café in London. She was preparing to order when a familiar voice came from behind. She turned and was surprised to see Harry Potter talking with the hostess. He looked her way and grinned and it was then that she wondered to herself if he had always been so handsome. He had certainly grown into his features and his hair was just as unruly, jet black, and sticking up everywhere. She waived him over to her table, and as soon as he reached her they hugged each other tightly. She couldn't help the happiness she felt to see him and her eagerness to learn how he'd been in the last few years.

They talked about days gone by and laughed together over memories of mischief at school and about their lives now, compared to their days at Hogwarts and experiences throughout the war. She reluctantly told him about her short-lived romance with Ron and about how things between them just fizzled out soon after they graduated. She told him that she realized soon after they began to date that she and Ron didn't have as much in common as they thought. The only thing they did have in common was their loyalty and devotion to Harry. She confessed that she didn't think that she was meant to be in love and that she always wondered why love was so complicated. Conversation seemed so easy, it was like they had never parted. It was comfortable.

Harry didn't hold back either. At first he told her about Ginny and the children and how being part of a family was what he'd always wanted, then he talked about how he and Ginny were starting to grow apart and that things were just so much more complicated these days. Hermione whole-heartedly agreed to that and at the same time wondered to herself what, if anything, was so complicated about being married to Ginny. She remembered being at Harry and Ginny's wedding and had always thought that they were so much in love. They were perfect for each other it seemed. After a long lunch they set a date to meet up again later that week, then a week turned into in a few days, then tomorrow, and finally it turned into "how about tonight?" They were habitually seeing more and more of each other. Things were so easy between the two of them. Unfortunately the newness wore off and just like all other good things, this too started to come to an end. They had been seeing each other for an entire year now and things just had to change.

She continued thinking to herself, 'how did things come to this?' In the beginning she was involved in a relationship with a man she grew to love and now she's being used by him. She was being used for the one thing she could not control; her love for him. She couldn't help it and Harry knew it. That was what kept him coming back to her every time. He needed to be with her… "his Hermione." He told her she soothed him, calmed him, and took care of him like no one else could, not even Ginny. So, now looking back and mulling over it all, she decided to end it. She just couldn't do it anymore. At first, she thought he loved her as much as she loved him, but then at some point throughout the year long affair his love started to slip. She had become a convenience more than anything. And worst of all, Harry's love for his wife Ginny never faded. The realization that she would never compare, EVER, was a very hard pill to swallow. She choked it down anyway.

The bathroom door opened breaking Hermione out of her reverie and there stood a newly showered Harry. Hermione thought she should try one last time. "Harry?" Hermione asked. She almost didn't want to bring the subject up again, but it had to be done. She had to know the truth.

"Yes, Love," he answered while buttoning his shirt.

She shuddered at his response to her. "Have you told your wife yet?" It was the question she'd been asking for three months now. Although she didn't want to admit it, she did care for Ginny. Every time her and Harry were together she just couldn't help thinking about her. Hermione knew she was probably going crazy but she couldn't help feeling a little guilty every time they saw each other. Ok, so by now it was more that just a little. She felt the guilt before they met up, while they were together, and even after they parted every time. That was no way to live her life and if she wanted to quash the guilt she knew that she had to offer up an ultimatum. She also knew that he was leaving her now to rejoin his family and no matter how many times it had happened, it always hurt more than she liked to admit, to herself or anyone else.

Harry crossed the room in three steps and was in her face with a look of sheer annoyance. "Why do you do this to me, Hermione? Why does she have to know? Do you want this to be over for us? If I were to tell her, do you think that I'd be able to just carry on with you while still being married to her," he said. Finally the truth comes out. She knew it. He didn't ever plan on telling her, he never planned to leave her, it was all a lie. Hermione could quite literally feel her heart start to break. She had a lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow and tears began to sting her eyes but she wouldn't let him see her cry. She had to stay focused and strong.

He turned away to continue dressing, not really looking at her. "Harry, you told me that you were going to tell her and then we'd be able to get on with our lives together. You said that you didn't love her anymore. You said that you loved me. Was it a lie?" As she finished that sentence she held her breath because she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer to that question.

"I do love you, Hermione. But I love Ginny too. She is my WIFE! She is the mother of my children! You can't expect me to choose you over her!"

She finally let out her breath and started to get defensive. This was not the way things were supposed to be going. She was supposed to be in control. "Am I not worthy of that, Harry? We've been together for a year now and this is all I get? I'm just your whore on the side that you can sleep with and tell lies to so that you can keep me in your bed," she spat. 'It ends now. It has to. I must have more self-respect than this.' she thought. Ever since they first started this, this, THING, Harry had always promised that when the "right time" came, he'd tell Ginny that he'd fallen in love with someone else and that he was going to leave her. Then he and Hermione could be free to go on loving each other and maybe even get married and have their own family. Was that such a horrible thing? Of course it was. After thinking through all of this the night before, Hermione finally realized that Harry never really intended to go through with any of it. Why would he? He had everything he wanted. On one hand he had his family life with a wife who undoubtedly loved him and children who adored him, and on the other he had Hermione. She was just a lover. Of course she loved him as well, and he knew that, but he mostly kept her on hand when he grew tired of the "family life". She was his little mini vacation. It finally became apparent to her that he was just fine with the way things were. That's when she had her wake up call. She cried the entire night contemplating her decision.

Harry turned back towards her and gave her a look of confusion. "Hermione, be serious," Harry began. "I can't just brush Ginny off like that. She's been with me through everything, we have children together, where would she be without me…" she cut him off,

"That's it then, is it? Well then I guess you've given me all the answers I need and unintentionally, I'm quite sure, made this a lot easier for me," she was lying now, "this has been a long time coming and I can finally tell you that I'm done with this. I'm done with us, whatever us has turned out to be. I'm tired of waiting for you to make a decision." she said. He was just staring at her now, opened mouthed like he didn't ever think he'd be hearing this from Hermione. She had always been so faithful, so loyal, and an unrelenting constant since he'd known her. She finally got up from the bed and stalked up to him and stood face to chest with him. "I was up all night trying to find the courage to tell you that this is the end. Next time you get the notion to call on me again, just don't bother. This time when you leave my bed, just go home and stay there. Just stay with your wife. You know, at first I thought, 'Ginny doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to be lied to, cheated on and then treated like a worn out toy that you got bored of," she took another step towards him and he took a step back, "but then I realized that YOU don't deserve Ginny; or me for that matter. It's you who's fucked up. Not me, and certainly not her." she was ranting. She had to calm herself down or risk looking like an emotional lunatic. She took a cleansing breath and started again with a stone face, "Just get the rest of your clothes and leave. Don't come back. You still have a chance to save your marriage, so if I were you I'd take advantage of that. Maybe she still wants you because Merlin knows that I'm through with you." she finished coldly pointing at the door.

Harry was quiet for some time, obviously at a loss for words. He honestly didn't know how to counter that at first so he started toward the front door. He was literally fuming inside. She really could be a self-righteous bitch sometimes. Harry was tired of her emotional drama anyway. It had gotten old. He stopped in his tracks and turned back toward her room where she stood glaring. "You may think that you're done, but you're not." he said matter-of-factly, coat in hand. "You," he continued while she was quickly walking toward him "you'll call me soon. I know you, Hermione. Just to let you know though, I was through with you anyway. I was going to get rid of you soon; you've just saved me the trouble. Now I know why Ron left you. You really are an insufferable bitch." he yelled. And then, just as soon as the words left his mouth, the only thing he saw was her petite hand getting ever closer to his face and then finally colliding with his cheek. In all the years he'd known her, he never thought she'd ever hit him, Harry Potter.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment you, you…asshole!" she yelled pointing at the door. She really wasn't any good at insults. She could feel the tears starting to form, but steeled herself. She couldn't let him see her fall apart completely; it would only feed his ego. Merlin knows "Harry-fucking-Potter" didn't need any extra ego stroking.

His cheek burned feverishly. He brought his hand up to rub his jaw. "Hermione what the fuck is wrong with you? That better not leave a mark," he yelled. "You've never had a problem with us before, and you've certainly never been so violent. Why are you behaving like a child? We're both adults here; we both know that you need me just as much as I need you. You don't mean this." he stated flatly. Harry's face was showing a little panic. She couldn't just leave him like this. He wasn't ready for that yet.

"You're right Harry. We are both adults, but the thing is, I want all of you for myself. I don't want to share you anymore. But you, you only want a piece of me. You just want to come and go as you please. I'm just an extra piece of ass for you plain and simple. That's all I am to you, I get it now, but that's not good enough for me. Now get out before I get my wand!" she threatened. She stomped over to the door, jerked it open, and stood there expectantly staring at him. 'There's no turning back now.' she thought.

At her last words Harry's façade of indifference started to crack and he let it show. He met her at the door and sighed. "Ok, wait, I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean that. Come on," he pleaded as he leaned forward to kiss her. With a disgusted look on her face she jerked her head away from his advance. "Fine Hermione…you win. I'll leave, but I promise you I won't be back. Just remember that I was willing to be with you warts and all. You won't find anyone else who's willing to put up with you Hermione! You know it and I know it. No one else will be interested in my seconds." he said hatefully. With that last thought he exited her apartment and her life.


	2. I can see clearly now

I can see clearly now…

It was over. She was free of him. She slumped onto the sofa and started thinking to herself about their "relationship" over the last year. Through her tears she slowly started to see how blind she was. The truth was, sometimes reflection could be painful no matter how necessary. First she realized that whenever they met it was always his idea and on his terms. Most of the time he'd just apparate to her apartment unannounced, give her a few kisses, and then walk straight to her room with her in tow. She was always just so happy to see him that she never stopped him to say anything to the contrary. The only time they would talk was after the sex. That's when he would profess his "love" for her and she'd feel so warm inside, like nothing could come between them and everything was so perfect. There were other times when she'd urge him to come clean with Ginny. Those conversations never lasted long because he'd either change the subject or distract her with more lovemaking. And now she realized that he never would give her a straight answer when that particular subject came up. Boy was she blind.

In the beginning they were so passionate and uninhibited. He'd tell her that he needed her, how he had always loved her, and they were so right for each other. Of course, she believed him, she had to. She wanted to believe it was true because she had all the same feelings. She loved him too. She couldn't deny that even to herself, but it was her love for him that he depended on and used to manipulate her. She knew that now.

"Merlin, how could I have been so stupid?" she berated herself. Right now she was feeling like her heart weighed an extra twenty pounds.

In the last few months or so their affair got to the point of him apparating into her living room with only one thing on his agenda. They'd go straight to having sex with little to no talking and then when it was over he'd shower, dress and then leave her with that same heavy heart. Every time she'd ask him to stay and every time he'd tell her he couldn't. She knew the answer before he even said it. It never changed. She also knew that it wasn't a matter of "he couldn't", but more the fact that "he wouldn't" and that alone is what hurt the most. She was always left with mixed feelings. First she was forlorn and regretful, then she was insulted and angry, and at last she was left with the feeling of not being good enough. It didn't matter though, she knew she loved him and she always, always forgave him. Tonight she'd given into her own weakness despite her plan and slept with him yet again. She couldn't help it, she was in love with him and no matter how mad she got she still couldn't deny her hope that things would get better. This time when she asked him to stay she sounded a little more desperate than she wanted to, but she already knew the answer. It had become involuntary for him. He almost always knew she would ask and was prepared to shoot her down. He would say it without even thinking about it. Therefore, his answer tonight was all she needed to set things straight for good. She was fed up with it all, despite her love for him. She just didn't think that it would've been this hard.

Now it was time to get going with the process of getting over it. Hermione wasn't the type to sulk and sob for days. She couldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt, it definitely did hurt, but it was a necessary hurt. It was just one of those things in life that everyone is bound to experience. She just had the unfortunate luck to have to have gone through it twice now. This time though, she wasn't willing to revert back to some fourth year little girl and squall over something that she knew now was just not meant to be.

Flashback

"Harry, are you sure we should be doing this?" she asked, "And in Knockturn Alley of all places?" Although the location was sketchy, she knew what she was doing and she had butterflies, big time. She had been waiting for this day for weeks now and was so happy that they finally came to the decision together that they couldn't deny their feelings for each other anymore. The decision to take the next step had been made.

"To be honest, Hermione, no, but that's never stopped me, or you for that matter, before, has it?" he answered with a smirk. Harry's confidence was enough to make her feelings of apprehension fade. In truth, she wasn't sure about anything when it came to Harry and her. All she knew was that her feelings for Harry came easy and natural. Harry finished paying the man at the front desk and immediately began to drag her in the direction of their room. It felt like they were teenagers in danger of being caught, it was all so exciting! "Wait, Harry! Slow down! Merlin, you'd think you were anxious or something!" she said with a grin, teasing him. Then she took off in a run toward the room. If he wanted her that bad, he'd have to catch her.

He quickly caught up to her and jerked her into an alcove, "you're going to have to be a lot faster than that to get away from me," he told her with a devilish grin. At that moment his lips descended onto hers with a feverish passion. The urgency of his kiss surprised her and took her breath away but once she regained her composure she returned the kiss with just as much passion. It wasn't the first time they'd kissed, but it was the first time they'd kissed with a promise of something to come and that knowledge alone was enough to drive them both mad with lust, passion, need, and hunger; it was all there.

Harry started to run his hands up and down Hermione's body. He slowly and firmly slid his hand up her sweater and cupped one of her silk covered breasts. She let out a small breath and closed her eyes. Even through the material she was sensitive enough to appreciate his touch. She started to wonder why she and Harry hadn't ever done this before when Harry started kissing his way down her neck. Her mind went blank when he stopped to suck on the small space between her neck and ear and she began to melt. He was holding her tight and close to him as she raised her arms to put her fists in his raven hair. She always loved his hair. To her it directly reflected his rebellious personality in every way. It made him even more irresistible to her.

Using his hair as leverage she pulled his head away from her neck to get his attention. "Harry," she breathed and tugged again. "Harry, don't you think this would be better if we actually made it to the room? I bet we'd have loads more fun," she teased. She was giggling now and wiggling around trying to get out of his grasp.

He whispered into her ear "That is an absolutely brilliant idea!" With that they headed straight for the room.

Once inside they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Clothes began to fly every which way. They were kissing each other furiously and stumbling in the general direction of the bed. Finally Harry lifted Hermione and dropped her unceremoniously onto the bed and stood back to look at her. He didn't say anything; he just stood there, eyes glued to her. She watched his eyes as they slowly ran over her body; from her soft shapely legs to her very curvy hips and all the way up to her breasts. She laid still while his eyes took in her every dip and curve.

Him just staring at her like that started to make her feel a little uncomfortable so she went to cover herself with her arms and then suddenly Harry crawled onto the bed, moved her arms away and started kissing his way up her body. She felt the tingling sensations travel throughout as he slowly licked at her knees, his hot breath tickling her skin. His trail of kisses followed up the natural curves of her thighs and hips. He lingered there breathing in the aroma of her anticipation for a few moments and then proceeded to the rounded curve of her lower abdomen. He snaked his hands up her body to massage her breasts as he licked at her bellybutton and planted wet kisses all over her skin.

She was enjoying her bath of kisses, reveling in the sensations, when she put her hands in his hair again and pulled him up to her lips. She was hungry for more of his wanton kisses and was finding it hard to keep her hands off of him. Merlin, it had been so long since she'd had sex, she had almost forgotten what it felt like. Her hands were roaming over his hard back and around to his biceps then up to his chest and nipples. She dipped her head down and began to kiss his collar bone and then his chest. Then as she started to tease his right nipple with her tongue, he did it. He plunged into her without warning and she gasped. She couldn't help thinking to herself that she wasn't quite ready for that yet; she would rather have had a little more foreplay. Then again, they were both aroused and thoroughly excited, maybe he just couldn't hold out any longer. So she pushed the thought out of her head and scolded herself for being such a hopeless romantic.

Harry was slowly probing in and out with his head on her shoulder. She could hear his labored breathing as he started to pick up his pace. It felt so good the feeling of him inside her, so firm, so slick. She was beginning to move up against him and then quite suddenly he pulled out and flipped her over onto her stomach and pulled her to her knees. Harry re-entered her and started to rock in and out with a steady rhythm. Things were again starting to feel wonderful and she felt out his rhythm and rocked with him, seeking her own pleasure when he started to speed up again. He pushed into her harder and faster then he shouted out his release with a long, heavy sigh. He pumped clumsily into her two or three more times and then it was over.

He rolled to the side and flopped down next to her breathing heavily, eyes closed. She lowered herself onto the bed, turned over, and remained silent. She didn't know what to say or if she should say anything at all. "What was that, was that it?" she thought to herself. "Maybe he was just overly excited and couldn't contain himself. Hopefully it's not always going to be this way." she continued thinking. She was silently staring at a water stain on the ceiling when she felt him stir. She looked over at him and noticed he was sitting up. "What are you doing?" she asked. Surely he wasn't done. Hopefully.

"I'm going to take a shower, why?" he answered lightly. Inside she sighed deeply and couldn't help but feel let down no matter what she told herself.

"I don't know. I wasn't ready to stop yet." She got to her knees and scooted over to him. Maybe she could get him back into the mood. She ran her hands up and over his shoulders firmly and then down his front to massage his chest. She was laying kisses all over his back and neck when he suddenly stood.

"Hermione, I've got to get going…Ginny will start to wonder where I am."

"Oh, come on. We've got time, besides; we were having so much fun, why stop now. Come on, stay a little longer." she said playfully. Surely he wasn't going to leave her wanting.

Despite her playfulness he rose from the bed and walked toward the bathroom. He turned and looked back at her from the shower door looking absolutely sexy. "I wish I could, darling, but I really do have to go home."

"Oh, ok." she sighed. "I guess that really was it," she said to herself disappointed.

Harry finished his shower and within another twenty minutes was on his way home. He left Hermione there to pull herself back together alone.

End flashback

"Ok, pull yourself together, Hermione," she said to herself. The memory of their first time together wasn't such a fond memory anymore. She thought to herself that she really should have seen what kind of person Harry was judging from they way that night went. She certainly could have saved herself a lot of heartache, literally, but as the saying goes, hind sight is 20/20. Things were starting to become much clearer to her the more she thought about it. Even on the first night they shared, if she could call it that, he couldn't have been more inconsiderate. Now she couldn't understand how she stayed with him for so long. Hermione shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. There was no use dwelling on the past. She needed a nice, hot, relaxing shower, plenty of sleep and most of all, work. If anything could take her mind off of her turmoil it would be her work. In the morning she'd focus on pulling herself back together. She could start over fresh.

After her shower she decided to clean the bed sheets. There would be no way in hell she'd ever get any rest if she continued to sleep on sheets that smelled like him. So, after a quick scourgify she sat on the edge of her clean bed and took a deep cleansing breath. "Goodbye Harry." she said to herself. Let the healing process begin.


	3. It's too late to apologize

Hermione rolled over in her bed and opened her eyes to stare at the clock on her bedside table. It was exactly one minute before time to get up. Crap. Sleeping the night before turned out to be a chore due to her tossing and turning for most of the night. She kept having weird dreams of herself hexing Harry and, strangely, many other faceless men and their most sensitive areas. "Maybe I need to work on some anger issues," she thought. It was in the middle of her reflections that her alarm shouted at her to get out of bed. "Alright already, no use laying around now," she said to herself.

Lazily, she pulled herself out of bed and walked into the loo. She then grabbed her muggle toothbrush and placed a hefty glob of toothpaste on the end. Half of the toothpaste fell into the sink. She started brushing her teeth and in no time she was staring off into space thinking random thoughts. In the middle of brushing her teeth she glanced into the mirror and with a mouth full of foam she spluttered, "Merlin's beard, what is wrong with me? This was my idea, how can it be affecting me like this?" She continued to glare at herself, "You are supposed to be pulling yourself together, not continuing to fall apart. Merlin, get a grip!" She stared a little longer, then spit in the sink and resigned to continue with her morning routine.

Hermione's morning routine this particular day was actually anything but. After the hygienic portion, brush teeth, shower, shave, she half-heartedly raked her long wet curls back with a strained hair tie. She was not in the least bit interested in dry or fixing her hair today. She just wanted to get to the office and dive into work so she threw a t-shirt and trousers on, then topped her outfit off with her favorite trainers. Now that she was decidedly comfortable, she grabbed her briefcase, shrunk it down and put it in her pocket and then hurriedly made a piece of jellied toast and headed out the door. Just as she was closing the door behind her she flipped her long ponytail back over her left shoulder and pulled the door shut. She made to continue down the hallway when her head snapped back to the left and her toast and wand went flying to the floor in front of her. "OOOUCH. Son of a …..," she cried. She immediately realized that her hair had been shut and locked in her door. Soon after, she realized that her wand was just out of reach on the floor beside her upside down toast. "Typical!" she said to herself. So as Hermione stood in front of her door with her hair caught in it and her head tilted at a weird angle she couldn't help but laugh. It seemed like the perfect start to what was sure to turn out to be an even more difficult day.

"If I could just reach my wand…," she said to no one in particular as she was stretching her right leg out in front of her. Had anyone happened upon this scene they would've witnessed a very compromised Hermione with her head and shoulders tilted back and her right leg with her toes pointed stretching toward a wooden stick on the floor that was just out of her reach. Her left hand was planted on the door behind her and her right was stretched out to her side trying to maintain her balance and her mouth was fixed in a perfect "o". Since her head was being forced back she could only see some of the floor in front of her, so with her eyes downcast, she was concentrating on getting her right foot planted on her wand when she felt a nudge against her left ankle.

An hour later Hermione trudged through the door of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes holding her right sock and shoe and looking quite disheveled and very disgruntled. She'd been working with Fred and George for going on two years now as their legal representation and has been kept quite busy "legally representing" them. Not too long after they first opened the shop there were a few customers that suffered from some "complications" after indulging in a new variation of the skiving snack boxes and caused a good amount of grief for the two inventors. After narrowly escaping any lasting damage with those few episodes the two of them sought out an attorney to help keep the shop from prospectively going under. It turned out that Hermione was the one to answer the call, as it were, and has kept them from any and all liabilities they may have incurred without her advice and counsel. She had even gone to lengths to help with research for the many new inventions in the works. She actually asked them if she could help and they wholeheartedly agreed knowing they'd never be able to dissuade her anyway. Now the twins often tell her that they wouldn't know what to do without her dogmatic attention to detail and her determination.

"Hermione, is something wrong?" George timidly asked. What he really wanted to ask was "what the hell happened to you?" but thought better of it after seeing the seething look on Hermione's face. "Are you ok?" he added.

"I'm absolutely fan-fucking-tastic, Fred, or George, or whichever one you are!" Hermione snapped. Guilt immediately set in after what she said so she added, "I'm sorry, it's not your fault, George is it, yes sorry. I have had an interesting morning, to say the least, and it's been one preceded by an even more horrid night," she explained.

George and Fred looked at each other with raised eyebrows and silently agreed to just let her vent this morning. She already looked like she'd been run through the ringer a couple of times and they knew she wouldn't appreciate getting the mickey taken out of her due to her state of being. So Fred safely asked, "Well, what happened then?"

"For starters, last night I finally ended things between my boyfriend and I." Hermione rolled her eyes and continued, "I know you two have been on me for months to do it, but I finally summoned the fortitude to cut it off last night," she said. Hermione had often confided in Fred and George in the past about some of the goings on of her relationship with Harry, but she maintained from the beginning that she would not divulge any personal information about him under no circumstances. The very last thing she needed was for them to find out that she was committing adultery with their sister's husband. 'That would go over well.' she'd thought. She reasoned with them that she and he were very private people and that she just needed a male point of view sometimes. Of course, from the beginning, they told her to be rid of the scumbag. From her stories and confessions they knew that whoever he was, he didn't deserve Hermione, and they told her so.

"I know that things will be so much better now that I'm not with him anymore, but it was still very hard at first. Then the bastard was horribly rude and chauvinistic and made it altogether much easier for me to slap the shite out of him and ultimately shove him out the door." she finished with a smirk.

"Oh, thank Merlin," yelled Fred at the same time George yelled "Hallelujah!" Fred turned to George and said, "Amen to that".

"When you two are finished," Hermione said to them expectantly. "As happy as I am to be through with all that mess, my day has been off to a horrible start. First of all I slept like utter shite last night! I kept having violent dreams about hexing men's balls off and other various parts of their anatomy, and then I woke up one measly minute before my alarm, I hate when that happens!" she gritted out. "I look like hell, and I feel like hell. I couldn't concentrate on anything this morning and resorted to talking to myself in the mirror for too long to be considered normal and ultimately gave up on trying to look even a little bit presentable. Then I was hurrying out the door on my way here and unbelievably LOCKED my own hair in my own front door! I dropped my wand in the process, and my jellied toast, which by the way, JUST HAD TO LAND JELLY SIDE DOWN!" she screamed while tightening her fists and stomping her foot. "I can only imagine how it looked from outside my front door!" she said while taking a few breaths.

"Ok, ok, calm down girl," George started to say.

"It'll be ok. Now, how in the world did you manage to shut your hair in the door?" Fred asked. This was certainly shaping up to be quite comical in his opinion, but he wouldn't dare say that now.

"I was in such a rush to get out the door that I just…well, I don't rightly know exactly how it happened, it just happened, ok? When it did though, I dropped my wand too. I almost fell and ripped half my hair out twice before Crookshanks decided to turn up. He kept bugging me to be let in and wouldn't leave me alone. I even tried three times out of desperation to get him to fetch my wand for me." She started to laugh at herself. "He didn't even try, not once, although, I will say I should've known better. He is, after all, a bloody cat!" Now she was starting to see the comedy in the whole situation.

"That cat is practically a hundred years old, love," George said while cracking a small smile.

"You can't expect help out of a decrepit cat," Fred added.

"Excuse me, Crookshanks is not a hundred years old, nor is he even remotely decrepit. He is a very loving pet that can be a little on the cranky side," she defended.

"Oh, come on 'Mione," Fred snickered.

"Name one thing that cat has ever been good for." George ended.

"Well, it doesn't matter, the point is he didn't help me in the least in my moment of need. He just sat and stared at me the entire time. I ended up getting a cramp in my calf muscle before I finally reached my wand and rolled it toward me. Then I had to take my shoe and sock off so that I could get my toes around my wand and then lift it into my hand, without falling, mind you. Thankfully I got my wand and reopened my door to get my hair out," she finished while rubbing her sore scalp.

"Wow," they both said.

Then while looking down at Hermione's trousers, George asked, "what's that on your leg there?"

"Hold on," Fred said while walking toward her. He bent to get a closer look and saw that it was jelly. "It looks to be jelly, mate," he said.

With a sigh Hermione answered, "I neglected to mention that after I rescued my scalp and hair I relocked my door and turned to leave when I stepped on my ruined breakfast and slipped. When I got up I had a slice of jellied toast stuck to my arse." After saying this Hermione became consumed with the giggles. She covered her face with her hands and began to laugh out loud.

Fred and George just looked to each other and then back at Hermione. They felt sorry for her and her luck this morning, or lack thereof. Unfortunately, her fit of giggles was contagious and it didn't help that she was standing in front of them looking the way she did and wearing only one shoe and sock.

The three of them eventually got over the giggles and set to open the store for the day. Hermione was scheduled to do some research today so her presence was going to be pretty scarce around the shop. She was picking up where she left off the other day. The research she had started was for on of Fred and George's new inventions that they considered a learning aide. So far, it looked like a simple piece of bubble gum in that there was nothing out of the ordinary about it, except, when a person chewed it, it would magically insert any and all knowledge of a certain book. The piece of gum would be attached to a charm that was then linked to a particular book and when chewed it would be like the chewer had already read the book and memorized it. At the present, Hermione was trying to work out how to attach the charm and make it work successfully without any side effects and or adverse complications. That is, after all, what they hired her for. She actually liked the work though. She was always good at research and she knew that the guys appreciated her diligence. So she dove into the research where she left off and remained there until the end of the day. This was exactly how Fred and George found her as they walked into the office together. She had her head bent over a mountain of notes she'd been making and was furiously scribbling away at more. She was completely engrossed.

"'Mione, seeing as how you've had such a shitty couple of days," Fred said. "What do you say to a couple of drinks on us tonight?" George asked.

"You could certainly use a break," Fred added.

"Normally I would love to guys, but I really do have a lot to take care of tonight." Hermione said without looking up. "I know it sounds lame, but I don't feel like going anywhere, I think I just want to be alone tonight." she explained. She really did just want to go home and relax, maybe take a bath, do some cleaning and try not to injure herself.

"Oh, come now, 'Mione," George said.

"You know you could use some fun," said Fred

Then George, "and maybe even a little excitement,"

"if you know what we mean!" Fred said as he wiggled his eyebrows and George smirked.

Hermione looked up and smiled at them, they really were cute when they wanted to be. One definite reason was the way they finish each others sentences without even so much as a thought, another was probably their innate ability to behave mischievously, among many other things, the fact was they were charming in their own unique way.

"As much as that sounds like a whole lot of fun," she giggled, "I do have to decline, for now," she added. "I know the two of you are trying to cheer me up, and I appreciate it immensely, but I'm going to have to take a rain-check, ok?" Hanging out with Fred and George did sound like fun, platonically, of course, but she just wasn't really into it right now.

"Well if you're sure. If you change your mind though,"

"You know where we are."

"I'll keep that in mind guys, thank you again," she said. "Actually, I think I'm pretty much done for tonight. I'm going to pack up and head out, if that's alright."

"Yeah, sure, 'Mione,"

"No Problem,"

"G'night," they said in unison and turned to leave. Hermione stood from her chair for what seemed like the first time today and stretched her arms above her head. A minute later, she was organizing her desk when George popped his head back in the door and said, "oh, and try not to injure yourself tonight, love!" He then winked at her and sped out of the doorway just as she was waving her wand to slam the door.

"Git," she said to herself.

Hermione carefully walked through the front door of her flat careful not to catch her hair or any other part of her body in it. As soon as she was through it look down and saw, sitting by the door, Crookshanks, her cat/kneazle, staring right at her as if he had been expecting her sooner. "Don't look at me like that," she said. "You're lucky I don't throw you out altogether. I could've used your assistance earlier this morning, but did you even lift a paw?" Crookshanks continued to stare at her, his face expressionless. He then proceeded to leisurely stretched his legs and then turn and walk away without a backward glance. "Well, did I honestly expect anything more? He is a cat after all," she said to herself. "Wow. I'm talking to myself about my non talking cat. Wonderful, Hermione. Ugh, I need a bath!"

She made her way down the hallway and into her bedroom to prepare for her much needed bath when she noticed something on her bed. She walked across the room to her bed to find a single red rose, a chocolate rose, and a letter. A letter addressed to her. A letter addressed to her from Harry. "What the hell?" was all she could say. At first she didn't even want to open the letter. She wasn't at all interested in what Harry had to say… at first. But then curiosity got the best of her and she opened the sealed envelope.

Hermione,

I know I said some horrible things last night. We both did. I have tried to write this letter to you at least a dozen times and have failed miserably eleven times. I finally decided to just say what I have to say and that is that I miss you. I know, it's only been one day, but I do. I can't help it. I miss you and I love you. I know now that I do want to be with you. We have problems, but who doesn't? I know you are upset with me about Ginny, but we can work through it. I know we can. We have been through so much together, don't you think we owe it to ourselves to make it work. I'll give you a few days to think about what has happened between us and then I'd like to hear from you. I know you still love me and deep down I know you still want us to be together. You're angry, and that's alright. Let's just take some time, ok. I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,

Harry

That was it. Short, not really that sweet, and incredibly demented. "That PIG! What a bloody joke!" She laughed out loud after reading it and threw it back on her bed. Then as she stared at it she realized that for those things to be resting on her bed, Harry had to have been here earlier today. Here. In her flat. If he had sent it by owl, the owl would still be waiting or rather it would've come to the office. "Oh sweet Merlin, I am such an idiot! Shite, shite shite!" she slapped her forehead with each shite and silently thanked the gods that she was not here when Harry was. She couldn't believe that she had not thought to change the wards or even block her floo from Harry. 'Of course I was under a little stress' she thought to herself. "That is no excuse!" she scolded herself out loud. She immediately set to work on the wards and the floo just in case he might want to come back. She started to wonder what would've happened had she been home when Harry came. "That would've been awkward." she muttered.

When the wards were finished and the floo done, she went back over to the bed and picked up the letter again. After reading it three more times she tore it in half and then half again and again and again until she couldn't tear it anymore. She then lit the fireplace in the sitting room and threw the pieces in the flames. Next she brought out both roses and tossed the red one in the flames first then was going to throw the chocolate one but decided against it last minute. "I might be wanting that later on," she mused. She set it on the end table for later. "I might as well keep going then," she decided. Going through every drawer in her room and closet, she brought out every piece of memorabilia she could find and started randomly tossing them in the fire. She burned love notes from Harry, pictures of Harry, any and all of Harry's clothes she could find, she even burned some of her own things that she'd bought for herself with Harry in mind. She didn't want any reminders of what was now the past. At last she was finished. Everything she'd found was burned and the whole ordeal was so refreshing. It was liberating. Hermione took a deep breath and decided she'd finally have that bath.

It was nearing eleven o'clock and Hermione was just now stepping out of the bathtub. As it turned out, a bath was a good idea. The hot water helped to alleviate some of the residual soreness she had in her back and neck from this morning's events. She had added some of her favorite bubble bath to the water. It was a muggle brand called Laura Mercier and it was the French Vanilla Honey Bath. Her mother had given it to her for her last birthday and she loved it so much that she saved it for special occasions. Tonight was one of those occasions.

She had soaked for nearly and hour and was beyond pruney, but she felt so much more relaxed. Standing in front of the mirror, she wrapped a towel around her body and decided to examine herself. She noticed that she still looked like herself, dark brown eyes, slightly larger than normal teeth, round face, but she didn't feel the same. She still looked young, but maybe a little too young. Hermione was not in the habit of wearing make-up, she didn't usually go to great lengths to fix her hair, and most of the time she wore only what was comfortable to her. All of that had to change. Standing there looking herself over in the mirror she decided that from last night on, there was no turning back. There was a lot of things that were going to change…for the better. She was going to make a concerted effort to pay more attention to herself. "After all, I deserve it, right?" she asked herself. Of course she did. Things were going to get better, come hell or high water, her grandmother used to say. She knew that she owed it to herself to change what wasn't working if she desired a different result.

So she floated back into her bedroom while thinking about what she wanted to change first and towel dried her hair, braided it and tied it off. She slipped into her favorite flannels and tank top and made her way into her sitting room. As soon as she sat down on the sofa, Crookshanks hopped into her lap and immediately began to purr. She stroked from his head all the way down to his tail and grimaced as he started kneading her thigh. "Owww, ok that'll do cat!" she said as she shoved him onto the cushion beside her. She watched him hop onto the end table and noticed the chocolate rose sitting there. She picked it up and broke one of the petals off and popped it in her mouth. It was sweet, but not too sweet, and it almost instantly melted when it touched her tongue. Wow. It was really good.

After she realized that most of the rose was eaten, she thought she'd like to go shopping tomorrow for lunch. She didn't want to go alone though, maybe she could take a girlfriend. Hermione remembered that she hadn't spent much time with Luna lately and had a little pang of guilt about that. It was then that she determined that she'd owl her in the morning and invite her out on a lunch date tomorrow. Hopefully, Luna didn't have any plans and would be willing to hang out with her after it had been so long. When she told Luna what she'd been going through, she was sure that she'd understand. What are girlfriends for anyway?


End file.
